Friday, February 12, 2010

Letting go

There comes a time when the energy we expend on someone, expires. Gone. Nothing left. The energy well has been entirely zapped. When this happens, we have two choices - to keep fighting a losing battle and hope that our energy will be somehow replenished, or to let go.

Today I chose to let go. My energy well was emptied by this exploit sometime ago, but going against my gut instinct, I kept fighting and continued to try to help. I like to give the benefit of the doubt, to try to see the good side and to keep my proverbial cup 'half full'. I prefer to live my life knowing that I have given something my all, and that I have done my best. I'm pretty sure in this instance, I did just that.

I learnt today that no matter how hard you try to fix someone who is lost, or how hard you try to reach out to someone who is silently pleading for help, you will never be successful, unless that person really knows which part of them is broken. Today I became the punching bag for the insecurities, depression, and sadness suffered by one individual, as the hurt and rage kept so tightly wound inside them, erupted in a tirade of abuse. The part that saddens me the most though is not the harsh words and battle of emotions that I suffered, but the sad realisation that this person may never be happy. With anything. Or anyone. This is tragic.

I have come out of this relatively unscathed, and I feel better that my choice to let go was somehow almost made for me. The divine works in many, many ways.