My name is Rebecca and I am not a perfect mother.
There, I've said it. I'm sorry if I've burst any bubbles you may have had me floating in, ladies, but it's time to set the records straight.
My kids are sometimes naughty, and I usually yell at them to behave. Sometimes they're cheeky, and when they are I send them to their rooms to think about their words. When they fight with each other, I want to walk out the front door and keep going. Sometimes the meals I make are pushed around on the plate rather than eaten. This disappoints, frustrates and annoys me, and I wonder why I bother to create a healthy meal at all. Some days I feel as though I am a robot, programmed to pick up, wipe up, mop up, tidy up, sweep up, clean up, wash up...... And that's just all the stuff on the surface.
What about all those internal battles? Have I done the right thing? Should I have reacted differently to that? Am I giving them enough/too much/not enough attention? Am I providing them with all that they need to grow physically / emotionally / spiritually? Am I setting a good example? Then there's the comparisons I mentally make of my parenting skills and those of my friends and acquaintances. Why does her child eat so well, and mine doesn't? Why does her child go to bed so easily and mine doesn't? Why is her child smarter than mine? Should I have my child in extra-curricular activities too? Constant questioning....
So I'm not perfect, and I never will be. I'm a good mother, and I strive to be a better mother each and every day. With each day comes a new experience and a new lesson that ultimately becomes part of this wondrous journey of parenting. Some days I wonder if I'll ever see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I struggle to keep my mind on the big picture. It's not an easy task.
But the light is there. I see it every night in their beautiful eyes when I lay them down to sleep. I hear it in their sweet voices as they tell me they love me. And I feel it in my heart as I wish them the sweetest of dreams.